12.17.2024
The emphasis was not, as it should have been:
Hard work
Learning
Character
But instead:
Results
Results
Results
As I was caught in the crosshairs of competition. Their scripts and perceived purpose of life were assumed to be mine.
Now, at 26, I feel that I have lived to regret their visions & hopes for me.
Burried in debt with a degree in Bull. Shit. >200lb.
I am more proud of my cheap CompTia certificate (~3 months) than absurdly expensive Bachlors (~4 years).
I must move on. I have to. Living in the past is killing my future.
There is no god.
7.31.2024
Please watch this:
Borrowed Future | How Student Loans Are Killing The American Dream
4.9.2024
I’m afraid I don’t have a good reason anymore- to struggle. Anhedonia. It’s torture to have to live with myself. If only I could take a break… and rest.
Leaving a note is just in bad taste.
Then what’s this?
3.20.2024
The steady rhythm
The sound of silence
Fills the room
It drowns out thought
The steady rhythm
The beating heart
Feels no pain
If I do not
Focus
As all leaves
The final sigh
What thought will bother
That final beat?
It doesn't matter.
The rhythm continues
In that final moment
You're all you've got.
3.18.2024
I'm all alone.
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